Helping People Find Their Feet In Harder Times - David's Story

The Big Conversation met a resident who recently fell on hard times and having received guidance and support, now has a brighter future. Here we hear David's story:

As a teenager, David Lawrence sprinted for the county, played water polo for England and the world was his oyster – but now, aged 53, life is very different.

He suffers from severe diabetes and is unable to walk to the end of the street, run a bath, cook a meal or even make a cup of tea by himself. Far from running round after his two teenage sons, they look after him and he can’t imagine how he would cope without them.

“Things didn’t go quite to plan,” said David, showing his wry sense of humour.

His current situation is certainly a far cry from his life 15 years ago before his health and marriage fell apart. Swindon became home when he started working as a lorry driver for a warehouse. The hours were long but the pay was good and there was no shortage of overtime. Things were going great - he bought a house, met his future wife and they had two sons together.

Life turned for the worse when his wife started suffering mental health problems, which resulted in divorce and David gaining custody of their children.

“Being a single parent isn’t easy, especially when you’re working every waking hour – and sleeping ones – to pay the mortgage, the au pair and provide a decent standard of living.”

By this time he had given up his smoking 60 a day, 80 at weekends, habit and was cutting back on the convenience food, such as Cornish pasties and milkshakes grabbed on the go at service stations. But the harm was done, as David discovered when he started feeling really tired and the doctor diagnosed type 2 diabetes.

“Diabetes runs in the family and I didn’t think it was a big deal, but it has become completely debilitating. I’ve lost sense of the nerve endings in my hands and feet, which has affected my balance and mobility. The muscles have wasted so I struggle to do pretty much anything without assistance. I can’t drive so rely entirely on my scooter to get about,” he said.

But that didn’t stop David from being his usual bubbly self and trying to stay active in the community. He volunteered at the cub scout group, where his sons were members, and also found love with a woman he had known for years because their children were friends. They set up home together, married and life was great again – at first.

“Then things fell apart and we were effectively homeless. There was no real plan, but my boys were right behind me – in fact they were the driving force,” he said.

A friend offered to let them stay at her house for a few weeks. Then a call from Swindon Borough Council, prompted by a family support worker at the boys’ school, helped them find their feet on a more settled basis.

“A lovely housing resettlement officer rang and came out to see me. I was in a right state, running up massive credit card bills and basically at breaking point. I’m dyslexic and can’t grip a pen, so she helped me fill in forms to prove I was homeless. I felt ashamed and guilty because I’ve always paid my own way and been a home owner,” he said.

“I didn’t want to claim benefits, but had no option. I was put in touch with lettings agents and started viewing properties. There’s a stigma against DSS clients, so finding somewhere suitable wasn’t easy. Eventually though we found a house near the town centre which is now starting to feel like home.

The housing officer even brought over some provisions from the Food Bank and helped me to source second hand furniture. I was penniless and at my lowest ebb, but she picked me up and got me back on track.”

Six months on, David and his sons have a better routine and are enjoying life again.

“We go shopping at the weekend – me on my scooter and the boys, looking out for bargains. They do all sorts of things, from helping cook to checking my bath water temperature and changing needles for my insulin injections. I know I’m a burden. But they are so much happier now and laughter is one of the greatest medicines. The other week, they said: ‘It’s like having our old dad back.’ I didn’t realise how withdrawn I was before and the effect it was having on them. I’ve also been back to the doctor and changed my medication, which is making me feel more energised.”

As for the future, there are still lots of questions and anxieties – but also bold ambitions.

“I never envisaged life like this. I thought I would retire happily with a holiday home, dangling my feet in the sea. Life is full of surprises and I still have lots to be thankful for – my kids are amazing. One wants to travel the world in a camper van and the other is set on being a doctor. He is already talking about getting a weekend job to help pay for university. I don’t know what I’ll do when they move out, but that’s got to happen – I want them to live independent, fulfilled lives. My confidence is slowly coming back and perhaps I can get there myself too,” he said.

“I’m not one for giving advice or having regrets but boy if I had my time again. Don’t smoke, stay active and never suffer in silence. I messed up on all three of them and you can’t always reverse the damage. Still, I’m staying positive and doing what I can to stop things getting worse by eating healthily and trying to exercise – my first session is booked at the Thamesdown Hydrotherapy Pool. The house is being adapted so I have bars to hold onto and can be more mobile. I’m also hopefully going to start getting some care support, so my children aren’t bearing that burden.”

David also has big plans to be more active and upbeat in 2013.

“I’m getting more involved in the community – attending drop-ins and also giving advice on how to cope with diabetes and, more importantly, avoid it in the first place. I made a New Year’s resolution to try and make everyone I meet smile and so far I seem to be succeeding.”

Talking points…

• Swindon Borough Council has an annual grant allocation of £79,000 to help prevent homelessness. This money is used to fund a variety of support, such as rent in advance, deposits, rent or mortgage arrears, a Sanctuary Scheme for victims of domestic violence and court desk funding so that households receive legal assistance in possession cases.
• It is estimated that on average a homeless person costs the public purse between £24,000 and £30,000 per year, a small proportion of which is funded by the local authority. This covers costs of providing accommodation and support, such as medical assistance, to someone previously sleeping on the streets. Through early intervention and support, these costs can be greatly reduced.
• Swindon Borough Council has prevented 1,141 households from becoming homeless, with the majority securing accommodation in the private sector, between July 2010 and June 2012.
• To help manage rising demand, the Council recently introduced a Home Advice website which helps people to assess their circumstances and find out about the options available. This has enabled staff to focus on more complicated and vulnerable cases.
• The Housing Resettlement Team comprises three full-time staff, working with approximately 60 clients at any one time.
• They help individuals and families who are homeless, or at risk of becoming so, often in crisis situations.  
• Helping clients to develop independent living skills, assisting with budget management and sustaining a tenancy and signposting to other agencies with more complex cases are amongst the services they provide.
• Coinciding with the recession, demand for this type of service has increased but the number of people the team can help is limited by reduced resources.

Click here to view a video of David's story